NO LAUGHING PLEASE 🤫

         NO LAUGHING PLEASE 🤫

Two houseflies walked out of the theatre and discovered that it was raining. 

"Shall we walk? " said one fly. 

"No" , said the other. "Let's take a dog. "

                            *******

"I didn't came here to be insulted. " 

"No? Where do you usually go then? "

                           *******

Dolly : Mam, does God go to the washroom? 

Teacher : "No, dear. Why do you ask? 

Dolly: " Well this morning I heard Dad knock on the door saying, 

"Oh god! Are you still in there? "

                          *******

On a long train journey, an old man was very annoyed by the little boy sitting next to him who kept sniffing and coughing. 

"Have you got a hanky? He asked angrily. 

" Yes", he replied, but my mom wouldn't like me to lend it to a stranger. 

                         *******

Q. Why do we call our language our mother tongue? 

Answer - Because our father never gets a chance to use it! 

                        *******

Police to thief : Tell me why did you steal? 

Thief :  It's not my fault Sir. I was not going to steal but there was 'WELCOME' written on the door. So, what could I do? 

                     ********

Teacher to students: Tomorrow you will have to write an essay on 'Monkey'. 

Next day at school. 

Teacher to Samuel: Why have you not written an essay on Monkey? What happened to your face? 

Samuel : Sir, whenever I went near the monkey to write on it, it started pushing me and gave me a tight slap! 

                        **********

Two children sitting in the park---

First boy - Do you know I have received a gift for telling a lie? 

Second boy- Well, then will you please tell me a lie? 

First boy - In fact, what I just said was a lie. 

                    ***********

In the train -----

John - Mom, Mom give me some money, I want to buy some ice cream. 

Mother - You stupid boy, I don't have any money sit quietly! 

John - Mom if you don't give me money, then I will tell the ticket examiner my real age. 

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Police to a small boy : You are only twelve years old and you are stealing? 

Boy - No sir, I am not stealing, I am just practiscing. 

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